It feels like forever since I last posted. So much time has passed, so much has happened.
What happened, you ask?
Can we talk? I mean honestly, you and I. Can we talk?
2012 was a very difficult year here. Lots of sadness and sad times.
I started this blog with mum as a means to focus on the positives in life and share my stories with all my puggy friends (and other dogs too) from the internet all around the world. And for a long time it worked. This blog has given me a sense of purpose for a long time. Many foster doggy friends have gotten exposure that helped them find their forever homes. Poppy has pretty much grown up before your eyes from a wee puppy to an adult. Myself, I have grown as a supermodel and made a ton of friends.
But somewhere along the way, the sadness has become too much and mum (aka the thumbs of this blog) just shut down and stopped asking me for my stories. Sometimes when you are really sad, it’s just too difficult to put on a brave face and share. But there has to come a time where you have to push through and work on getting happier. Today mum and I have decided to share our sadness with you as a first step in healing.
Can you walk this walk with me? Can you be brave and help me be brave too?
2012 started out sad. For a very, very long time – since before I was even born – mum and The Will tried very had to expand their family with a furless baby. The beginning of 2012 marked the time where they came to the realization that this just was never going to happen. Personally, I think Poppy came into our lives as a surrogate for the furless puppy they really wanted.
Life rolled on, spring came with the promise of a new start and then out of the blue, mum’s sister, Auntie C died. April Fool’s? Not quite. Lots of family came to visit. Do you remember? The grandparents took it especially hard and refused to even talk about it. They refused to let anyone else talk about it either. I’m not sure if you’ve figured out yet, but not talking about the bad stuff doesn’t make it all just go away. Not talking about it makes things worse.
Anyway, Auntie A’s little boy, Little C went to live with the grandparents. Their shared grief brought them even closer together. It was a bit of an adjustment for everyone but the future held a promise of happiness and growth. They knew that together, even this sadness could be overcome.
Spring turned to summer. This summer wasn’t nearly as hot as the previous summer and yet I was having some real issues with overheating and breathing in the heat. Not even my cooling vest was a help. This meant very few trips to the dog park and walks only if they were after dark. Mum started making noise about me having to face facts that my soft palate was giving me too much trouble and an operation was inevitable. Whenever she would bring this up, my response was simply to walk away and not talk about it. What does not talking get you? Yea, I know.
Life was beginning to get back on track during the summer months (aside from my breathing/overheating issues, which we weren’t talking about). Little C was coming over for overnight visits and the rescue was keeping mum super busy doing good for pugs in need…..
And then it happened again. This time it was a call to say that Nanna was sick. Was the stress of losing Auntie A just too much? Maybe. Maybe not. It turns out that Nanna must have been sick for a long time and……… just refused to talk about it. She hadn’t felt tip-top for a long time but she didn’t know she was THAT sick. She had only gone to the human vet because of a cough that just wouldn’t go away. The human vet came back with a diagnosis no one expected. BOOM! The Big C.
Three weeks later she was gone.
Auntie C and her boyfriend moved in with Poppa and Little C to help them adjust and mum….. well the blog posts became fewer and farther between.
When last I wrote, Poppy had just celebrated her first birthday. She got the prettiest collar for her birthday. A month later it was my turn. What did I get? A trip to the vet. Mum and The Will decided it was time to do something about my breathing, besides I needed my teeth cleaned anyway. About a week before I was due to see my vet, mum noticed this little pink, pimple-like thing on my neck. I’d had something just like this when I had first been rescued and it had been removed when I went to get my lady-bits removed. Thinking it to be nothing more than a cosmetic fix, mum asked the vet to remove this pimple-thing while I was already asleep. Well, it turns out the vet decided it looked kind of weird to him. Weird in vets-speak is never good. After removing the pimple-thing, he sent it away to be checked by a super-vet. BOOM! The Big C.
Thankfully my vet is confident he got all of it out but he told me that it will come back. If ever I find another pink, pimple-thing, I am to come to him right away. If I can promise to do this, he has promised to continue making sure I stay healthy.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, my throat refused to heal right from my palate surgery. Sure I wasn’t snoring anymore and it was too cold out to even think about overheating, but I was having trouble even drawing breath. Another trip to the vet that involved a sharp poke or two and I returned with a prescription of cheese slices twice a day for 2 weeks. There may have been something extra hidden in the cheese, but any prescription for cheese slices is always welcome in my world.
Christmas has come and gone. I can breathe much easier, but still not as well as I could before my surgery. Auntie C and her boyfriend have moved the to other side of the world to start their new life and (hopefully soon) a new family. Poppa and Little C are planning on moving away this coming summer.
The Will, mum, Poppy, Shinobi and I are still here. Whenever mum starts staring off into space and shutting down, I climb into her lap (even if Poppy is already there) and snuggle. It’s my way of telling her I’m here. Our little family is strong and together we will get past this. The Will,Poppy, Shinobi and I aren’t going anywhere.
2013 is going to be a better year. It has to be.
2013 will be a year of moving forward and of communication. When things start going bad, silence cannot be the answer. I hope you will be here too. Maybe you’ve had your own health problems you’ve overcome. Maybe you have helped your humans through some tough times and maybe, just maybe you’d be willing to share your experiences with me. Because communication has to be more than me telling you my stories. I want to know yours too.
Together maybe we can make 2013 more than just a “better” year. Maybe together we can make a great one! What do you say?