Can we talk?

Sabrina 01-13 Can we talk

It feels like forever since I last posted. So much time has passed, so much has happened.

What happened, you ask?

Can we talk? I mean honestly, you and I. Can we talk?

2012 was a very difficult year here. Lots of sadness and sad times.

I started this blog with mum as a means to focus on the positives in life and share my stories with all my puggy friends (and other dogs too) from the internet all around the world. And for a long time it worked. This blog has given me a sense of purpose for a long time. Many foster doggy friends have gotten exposure that helped them find their forever homes. Poppy has pretty much grown up before your eyes from a wee puppy to an adult. Myself, I have grown as a supermodel and made a ton of friends.

But somewhere along the way, the sadness has become too much and mum (aka the thumbs of this blog) just shut down and stopped asking me for my stories. Sometimes when you are really sad, it’s just too difficult to put on a brave face and share. But there has to come a time where you have to push through and work on getting happier. Today mum and I have decided to share our sadness with you as a first step in healing.

Can you walk this walk with me? Can you be brave and help me be brave too?

2012 started out sad. For a very, very long time – since before I was even born – mum and The Will tried very had to expand their family with a furless baby. The beginning of 2012 marked the time where they came to the realization that this just was never going to happen. Personally, I think Poppy came into our lives as a surrogate for the furless puppy they really wanted.

Life rolled on, spring came with the promise of a new start and then out of the blue, mum’s sister, Auntie C died. April Fool’s? Not quite. Lots of family came to visit. Do you remember?  The grandparents took it especially hard and refused to even talk about it. They refused to let anyone else talk about it either. I’m not sure if you’ve figured out yet, but not talking about the bad stuff doesn’t make it all just go away.  Not talking about it makes things worse.

Anyway, Auntie A’s little boy, Little C went to live with the grandparents. Their shared grief brought them even closer together. It was a bit of an adjustment for everyone but the future held a promise of happiness and growth. They knew that together, even this sadness could be overcome.

Spring turned to summer. This summer wasn’t nearly as hot as the previous summer and yet I was having some real issues with overheating and breathing in the heat. Not even my cooling vest was a help. This meant very few trips to the dog park and walks only if they were after dark. Mum started making noise about me having to face facts that my soft palate was giving me too much trouble and an operation was inevitable. Whenever she would bring this up, my response was simply to walk away and not talk about it. What does not talking get you? Yea, I know.

Life was beginning to get back on track during the summer months (aside from my breathing/overheating issues, which we weren’t talking about). Little C was coming over for overnight visits and the rescue was keeping mum super busy doing good for pugs in need…..

And then it happened again.  This time it was a call to say that Nanna was sick. Was the stress of losing Auntie A just too much? Maybe. Maybe not. It turns out that Nanna must have been sick for a long time and……… just refused to talk about it. She hadn’t felt tip-top for a long time but she didn’t know she was THAT sick. She had only gone to the human vet because of a cough that just wouldn’t go away. The human vet came back with a diagnosis no one expected. BOOM! The Big C.

Three weeks later she was gone.

Auntie C and her boyfriend moved in with Poppa and Little C to help them adjust and mum….. well the blog posts became fewer and farther between.

When last I wrote, Poppy had just celebrated her first birthday. She got the prettiest collar for her birthday. A month later it was my turn. What did I get? A trip to the vet. Mum and The Will decided it was time to do something about my breathing, besides I needed my teeth cleaned anyway. About a week before I was due to see my vet, mum noticed this little pink, pimple-like thing on my neck. I’d had something just like this when I had first been rescued and it had been removed when I went to get my lady-bits removed. Thinking it to be nothing more than a cosmetic fix, mum asked the vet to remove this pimple-thing while I was already asleep. Well, it turns out the vet decided it looked kind of weird to him. Weird in vets-speak is never good. After removing the pimple-thing, he sent it away to be checked by a super-vet. BOOM! The Big C.

Thankfully my vet is confident he got all of it out but he told me that it will come back. If ever I find another pink, pimple-thing, I am to come to him right away. If I can promise to do this, he has promised to continue making sure I stay healthy.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, my throat refused to heal right from my palate surgery. Sure I wasn’t snoring anymore and it was too cold out to even think about overheating, but I was having trouble even drawing breath. Another trip to the vet that involved a sharp poke or two and I returned with a prescription of cheese slices twice a day for 2 weeks. There may have been something extra hidden in the cheese, but any prescription for cheese slices is always welcome in my world.

Christmas has come and gone. I can breathe much easier, but still not as well as I could before my surgery. Auntie C and her boyfriend have moved the to other side of the world to start their new life and (hopefully soon) a new family. Poppa and Little C are planning on moving away this coming summer.

The Will, mum, Poppy, Shinobi and I are still here. Whenever mum starts staring off into space and shutting down, I climb into her lap (even if Poppy is already there) and snuggle. It’s my way of telling her I’m here. Our little family is strong and together we will get past this. The Will,Poppy, Shinobi and I aren’t going anywhere.

2013 is going to be a better year. It has to be.

2013 will be a year of moving forward and of communication. When things start going bad, silence cannot be the answer. I hope you will be here too. Maybe you’ve had your own health problems you’ve overcome. Maybe you have helped your humans through some tough times and maybe, just maybe you’d be willing to share your experiences with me. Because communication has to be more than me telling you my stories. I want to know yours too.

Together maybe we can make 2013 more than just a “better” year. Maybe together we can make a great one! What do you say?



About Sabrina's Pug Tails

My name is Sabrina. I am a three year old fawn pug who lives with my three humans and my brother-cat Shinobi. I came to live with my family in February of 2010. I don’t remember much about my life before that. I know that I didn’t have a nice warm bed to sleep in or soft couches to lay on. I was rescued from my previous life by the Boston Terrier & Pug Rescue of Southern Manitoba along with my brother, sister and mom. My human mum tells me that some dogs work at being smart and some work at being cute, and I am very, very cute. I think there may be some kind of insult here………
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9 Responses to Can we talk?

  1. Hi Sabrina sorry to hear about your difficult year in 2012, so many losses, so much suffering. Happy to get your nice long post, have missed hearing your news. You are a beautiful soul and your mom is one strong lady. Sending you and all your family love and light for 2013. Gonna be a great year!

  2. Payton's mom says:

    Sabrina, I’m so happy to see you back. I can relate to your mum, sometimes blogging just doesn’t sound like fun when so much is going on, so many sad feelings. I’m so very sorry for all the difficulties that your family has experienced recently. You all are in my prayers, I know that healing takes a while. There was a lot of good, great even, things in 2012, but one important loss tends to shine more than the others for me. So I am looking forward to a better 2013. Here’s to more sharing, the good and the bad. Kisses Sabrina!

  3. Noodles says:

    Hi Sabrina, I am grateful for our “little walk” and talk. I knew things had not been going too well in your world but hoped it wasn’t too bad. It was, though, and I am so sorry for all the sadness you and your family have endured. But that is the point – you endured and whether or not you want to admit it, you are stronger as a family unit. Year of the Snake is a year of possibilities and change. I think it will be a very good year for you.
    Love Noodles

  4. Alfie says:

    Hi Sabrina, Poppy, and Shinobi, it is Alfie. Mom read me your news and cried a lot for you and your humans. It was hard for me to stay brave when I heard of your lump and what it was. Mom and I wish you a much better year in 2013 and I have a special Valentine parcel for you from an Auction Mom runs as a volunteer for Luv A Chin in the USA. I told you I have a new brother in Oklahoma coming this summer , right? He is a purebred, Show Chin. Mom has had a rough year with her legs but Meiko and I will help her. My Pug Brothers are not too bad but Deuce doesn’t walk like he used to and MoJo has had a few seizures. Everyone has their Cross TO Bare , Mom says , but you have had too many and I just want to make your day with this parcel. Grant will bring it to the next Play Group, hopefully you will be there. We send all our love to you and the Family. Take care, Sabrina. Love, Alfie, Meiko, Deuce, MoJo, and Mommy Joan. Hugs (( Shaila)).

  5. Southern Fried Pugs says:

    You guys had a really rough 2012. 2013 has to be better. It just has to be. It is important to talk about stuff, because like you wisely said, stuff doesn’t go away just because you don’t talk about it. Talking about it, even if you don’t come up with a solution, helps. In this case, we are glad you mentioned the C word. Your bump sounds like the bumps our Quincy pug had. Mom did a lot of homework on mast cell C and found out a lot of helpful information like foods that fight it and things you can do at home to help. She is super happy to share if you’d like it. It may help you if the C comes back. It helped Quincy. The vet even said so, even if some of it seemed odd to her medically.
    We know that sometimes it seems wrong to share sad human stuff on a fun-loving pug blog. But share what you need to. The pug blog community is full of love. We are happy with you and sad with you. Lean on your fellow bloggers as much as you need to. We are here to hold you up.

    • The pug blog community is my safe place and I am very grateful for all my friends.
      Please do share what you know on food and stuff that can help prevent the big C. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there who worries about it.

  6. pugmantis says:

    Just catching up on our posts. Lots of love being sent your way. Sometimes life really does seem to pile it up, eh? It *does* get better, the trick is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Trust me. 2012 had a similar kind of vibe happening for me. One step. One step. Lots of love.

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